April Fools

Woke up to this. Need I say more?

So I’m applying for a crew position to Mars on Virgle. My kind of trip…

 I would characterize my overall level of physical fitness as:

Great. I'm totally buff.
Good. I can do the stationary bike roughly as long as it take to watch a Talk Radio rerun on my gym's cable system.
Okay. I could probably do a few crunches if you really insisted.
Poor. The mere sight of a treadmill gives me chest pains and a weird tingling feeling in my extremities.

 I am a world-class expert in

physics medicine and first aid engineering Guitar Hero II