RAGBRAI Survivor's Guide

Bob and I bicycled safely across Iowa last week, along with 15,000 friends. No small feat. Here’s what I learned about the world’s biggest rolling party.

1) Go with the flow. As smart and loud as I am, I still couldn’t teach all 14,999 others the proper way to do things. Relax and enjoy the scene.

2) Get used to lines. We had good success minimizing our time in lines. Unless you can take all your bathroom breaks between 2300 and 0500, you’re going to be waiting from time-to-time. Plan accordingly.

3) Chat up your fellow riders. You see everyone on this trip. From entrepeneurs riding sail/bikes to someone who hasn’t been in the saddle since 1970. I talked with one guy on disability who rode two days to the start: mountain bike, tires underinflated, chain rusty, carrying all his stuff. He’s riding back home now. An older guy named Ole, completely dressed business casual: khakis, long sleeves and all. I ask, “Don’t you have any shorts?” “I guess I’ll buy them if I need them.” There’s a story there.

4) If you seen one cornfield, you’ve pretty much seen them all. You don’t do this ride for the scenery.

5) Instead, stop in the towns and enjoy the locals. We make for the biggest thing to hit Dundee (or Moneta or Eagle Grove) since the 1992 hailstorm. These are down-home Norman Rockwell places come alive. Grab some shade, put your feet up and enjoy some hospitality. Nothing better.

6) Save room. No matter how great that church basement breakfast burrito tastes, there’s a plate of cookies with your name on it 10 miles later. Or hand-cranked ice cream. Or a grilled pork chop. Or cookies. Or pie. My best singular item was Bluebarb (blueberry / rhubarb) pie baked by an 8-times IA state fair champion. Best crust I’ve ever seen. “Oh, yes. You need to use home-rendered lard. We used to render our own until we got rid of the hogs. Now I can get it from a little place down the road, the only place that still does it in the county. Makes all the difference.”

7) Leave your alarm at home. You’ll be startled by fireworks at 2200. Enlightened by lunatic ravings around bar time. And surely by your neighbors chatting away and breaking camp at 0430. When we’d finally emerge around 0530, fully one-third of the tents around us would be gone.

Typical day

Up around 0530.

Leave camp by 0630. Straight into the main crush of people on the road. Riders filling both lanes of the road. Slower on the right. Maybe a passing lane on the left.

8) This brings us to Stay Alert. The Tour de France has nothing on RAGBRAI for likelihood of crashes. Watch out for #1. We were glad to have seen only four very minor tipovers. You can’t deny the risk is there.

Warm up for a while and then start pacing. Often we’d find someone to work with. Sometimes they’d come up from behind. More often we’d catch up to someone that didn’t want to get passed and they’d spring into action at the front. Like I said, nice people. Absolutely burying themselves into a headwind just so you can have an easier ride and a happier tomorrow. They’re precious.

At 10 and 20 miles marvel at the length of breakfast lines in the first towns.

Finally around 30 miles, we’ve passed thousands and worked our way into sparser conditions. Perhaps riders only fill the right hand lane. Time for breakfast. Or, just as likely, a pork sandwich and piece of pie at 0830. And, hopefully, some coffee.

Breakfast done and we’ve worked our way ahead of the crush of riders. Now time to poke from town to town, snacking as needed and getting in some good riding in between. It is great to be among the first into these towns, everyone’s well stocked, prepared and excited.

In by noon, or one or so. Find your bags, find a good tent site, get a quick shower. Have a few recovery drinks, if you know what I mean. The rest of the day is your own.

9) Draft safely. There are much better riders than me out there. Some riders though, are to be avoided. The trick is to figure out which is which. It’s really not that hard, and it’s an even easier decision. If you’re not sure about this rider/group/train, just skip it. Another will present itself shortly. The pool of talent at RAGBRAI is literally bottomless. Take your time. Watch for a while and then decide. Its great fun to work in a tight train, don’t miss out.

Good candidates

Group of 2-5 riders that are together. They’ve ridden together before. They came to RAGBRAI as a group. Our best group that we rode with on a few days trained with the Iowa Air National Guard: Sue Ellen, Tammy and Don.

Likewise, team kit is a great sign. Not jerseys from a catalog or corner store. Racer team jerseys say that “I ride a lot and I ride with others.”

Smooth-running tandems. Hang on through the downhills!

Bad candidates

Any group with hangers-on. A good train moving at moderate speeds draws hangers-on like bees to honey. There may be a tight group of four at the front with 10 jokers pinballing on the back. Skip it.

Any big group. They don’t want your help anyway.

Any bike that makes noise. No wheel wobble, no dried up old fat tires, bike racks are highly suspect. As are downtube shifters.

Aerobars. Nothing says “I don’t ride in a group” like aerobars.

Squirrelly riders, of course. Many of these guys are full of enthusiasm. You just have to love them. Wish I could bottle their excitement. They’re grinning from ear to ear. “I’m in a paceline, take my picture”. Their heads bobbing around like it’s barely attached. They speed up, they slow down. They play Tour de France racer. Avoid them like the plague.