BroFest 2007

A few brothers got together on Adventure Cycling’s Columbia Gorge trip. We never did develop a rap song to explain it, but:

• Geoff. Klamath Falls, OR.
• Chuck. Woodland, CA. Geoff’s brother.
• Karen. Woodland. Chuck’s wife.
• Kurt. Minneapolis, MN. Karen’s brother.
• Al. Gainesville, FL. Married to Joan; Kurt and Karen’s sister.
• Jerry. Milwaukee, WI. Married to Jane ~ Kurt is married to Jane’s sister, Barb.

Day 1. It became clear immediately, this was going to be a hilly ride. 600 quick vertical to get out of the Columbia River valley and escape the outskirts of Portland. Hello granny gear.

We were able to compare our food stops with those of the overlapping Barlow Trail Century. We prefer the fresh berries generously provided by the latter.

In spite of cries to “F*** the Oregon Trail” we all made the optional run up Lolo Pass, making for 49 miles and 4900 vertical to start the trip. The heavy overcast with rain and sleet on the descent really made the day. Low-fat Chuck got the shivers on the way off the pass. The loan of some rain pants made the difference and we made it in to Welches safe and sound.

Decided to camp out in the gym rather than mess with the elements any longer. BroFest staked out a choice corner and began our caloric replenishment at a local pub.

Day 2. Nice thing about the gym is that you’re in no danger of oversleeping. A steady crescendo of coughing, sniffling and packing from 0’dark hundred until lights on at 0600.

Kurt started the day with a nice gash in the rear tire and a flat. An improvised boot held throughout the day.

After the immediate 2500 foot climb, most went for the optional 2000 foot climb to Timberline Lodge on Mount Hood. Just for the hell of it. 4500 feet in under 20 miles. Suweeeet. We were rewarded by great roads and good views, a few clouds. In spite of more clothes, Chuck again gets the shakes off the col. Good enough to shake his water bottle loose. Eat some pizza dude!

Another punch over Bennett Pass and then 30 miles of downhill into Odell. Good time to work on our paceline technique. 64 miles, 5700 vertical.

Day 3 turned out to be the queen stage. Started innocently enough along the Columbia River. Down the historic Columbia River Highway and through the sweetest “Curves of Rowena” descent. Pinch me. It is indeed the ride of a lifetime.
After 45 miles, the climbing really starts out of Lyle, WA. Lunch near the top of the hill. An assessment of the new chip-seal reveals it’s very rideable, no need to bypass. So off we go. Well, lunch was nowhere near the top of the damn hill. Oof. Another 90 minutes of grinding it out gets us to the flat, open high prairie. And heat. And headwinds. Just another 20 miles of joy left to savor. Jerry says, “Now this is a real ride. None of that easy stuff.”

75 miles, 4000 vertical.

Day 4 starts with headwinds again. But we’re fresh. Then down 1000 to the Klickitat River and up 1000 on the other side. Nice. Huckleberry shakes all around in Glenwood.

Camp in the shadow of Mount Adams. The BroFest Hiltun easily accommodates all six of us. And it seems, somehow, to keep all the other tents at a distance. Hmmmmm.

Day 5 was the cause of some concern. The profile looks ominous. But it starts with an easy 2000 foot warmup filled with conversation and a chance to chat up some new people.

There is a real seven mile kicker before lunch. The steepest continuous stretch of road I’ve ever seen. Working my lowest or second gear all the way up. From our lunch spot we can see the base of St. Helens but what’s left of the top is lost in the clouds and rain.

Today also includes some 50 miles of descending, we drop an extra 2000 feet during the day. Geoff challenges but doesn’t pass our “Mad Bomber” Jerry as they drop out of sight on the damp roads. I’m happy to burn the brake pads a bit.

A nice little downtown in Stevenson. Just what we need for recovery.

83 miles. 4800 vertical up, 6700 down.

Day 6. Back to the start. Only 2700 feet and 38 miles, including getting a little lost.

I’m ready for an easy day. I’m no longer friends with my saddle. My neck is sore. My left shin is really complaining. Everyone else is thinking the same. Soft-pedal a bit and stop at a falls. A little bit further and have a snack. Even superDave and Kim are noodling along on their tandem.

Across the Bridge of the Gods. Another stretch of the historic Columbia River Highway. Waterfalls. Moss. Curves and vistas. Cliffs and the river. Just another once-in-a-lifetime epic day.